Dr. Bump - Bruce Thines (Rundelania)

...It was Tuesday morning and Sally said that Ed Carr wanted to see me in his office.   His door was open so I walked in.  He looked up from his desk and told me in his Darth Vader voice to come in and close the door.  He said, “Lance, I think we have a problem.”  I replied, “What’s that boss?”  Ed said, “Three of our residents are missing, they haven’t been seen in days.”  I told Ed I would investigate it and get back to him.

The three residents missing were Claude Balls, a schizoid with nine different personalities; Harry Ends who was a chronic masturbator, especially in the TV room when those Progressive Insurance ads were on with that lady Flo; also missing was Brad Foreskin who suffered from dementia, who wore one red shoe and one blue shoe and a tinfoil hat...Rundelania