Execution Story
Owing to an attic apartment he was inconceivably young, and an uncommonly nice woman, who now and then offered him a bonbon, seduced him into writing a book people described as terrifying because it took no account of the gravity of the times. Because the book was madly funny, it was pronounced a product of madness, and while reading it the not unrespected daughter of a bourgeois family fell lifeless to the floor, having actually died laughing at what was in it. Painfully educated young men, at the sight of its concoction, aghast at its dumbfounding untendentiousness, melted clean away, so breathless that they went all to pieces. A friend of his once had occasion to tell him that he would achieve inconsequential success and, in consequence of his successful inconsequence, people inviting him to afternoon tea would at the same time opine that he must be terminated. Those pronouncements were now to be borne out, for masked men, with a dry command to accompany them, walked into his shimmering jewel of a room. Since the duty of these persons was to secure his being thus accompanied, they arrested him, and while leaving the place in which he'd brought, through the opening that he'd come to believe was his mouth, many a cake, he theatrically exclaimed: "I'll not see this again!"
A court of literature, as ruthlessly composed as any ever, snarled him to death, whereupon a lady who heard the proceedings hastened to explain that she wanted to appoint this manufacturer of such an utterly abject intellectual product as her husband.
The tribunalist judged her desire to be admissible. He was a bon vivant in whose eyes dying and marrying came to just about the same thing. What a lovely look in her eyes! However, when the object of her choice, believing at the decisive moment that he should be a complete man, refused, albeit with the utmost courtesy, the attractively tendered support, the person in question broke out into an "Aaahhh!" as if meaning to rejoice at her disappointment and lament the thwarting of her attempt to embrace him. Did it not look as if she loved him only now, just when it was of no avail to her?
In the gallery by that time handkerchiefs were held in readiness, the man condemned to die was dead in the soul now. His past life, already strange to him, eyed him like a faint light from far away.
"Conduct this sinner to a place where apparently no improprieties occur, with a promptitude sufficient to restore to the esteemed and interesting lady, whose emotional state I can understand, the composure to which, as I would not doubt for a moment, she is accustomed," said with positively splendid professional aplomb the principal of these proceedings in the Chamber, a command at which the beadles had no occasion to demur, and with which they complied without more ado.
The high-hearted lady, who seemed to be in need of some breathing exercises, was gently carried out into the amenities of the fresh air. At the wondrous sight, a casual passer-by most unforeseeably fell in love with her.
While the judge, in his in no wise unluxurious home, and beaming with satisfaction, settled at table to enjoy a gracefully served soup, the subtle silken evildoer enjoyed an excellent execution.
On the way to it he felt as light as fluff.
Perhaps an execution drawing by Rembrandt, which I saw at one time or another, justified at most by the way this precious and derisible story.
trns. by Christopher Middleton
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